Sirka Pyaaz – The Galaxy's Leading Satire Tri-monthly

Congress Party Fails to achieve Consensus on Pizza Order.

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December 23, 2009:
Written by: SD
The Congress Understanding for a New Telangana State, a committee that does not like to use the abbreviated version of its name, today unintentionally ticked a Domino’s guy off when they called to order lunch.

The committee had a meeting today, and for the whole of yesterday and the day before, at Sonia Gandhi’s house at New Delhi. They deliberated on the Telangana issue till 2 pm, at which time they took a lunch break. The Congress MPs, in a unanimous show of sycophancy decided to order Italian, and promptly called up Dominos. “Yes, Dominos”, said Manmohan Singh, who was given the onerous duty of placing the order in his capacity as the ex-officio chairman of the Planning Commission and that of an economist.

“Yeah, I would like to order one…no no, three… wait….hey listen up, I’m on the phone with the pizza guy, what should I get?” said Manmohan, as the other ministers stood fixated on a youtube video of a monkey picking and eating lice from another monkeys fur . “Get me a fresh veggie”, shouted P.Chidambaram from across the room. “Yeah, get me a half spicy chicken and half pepperoni, with extra cheese, and make it thin crust” interjected Pranab Mukherjee. All other MPs began shouting their preferences as well, which caused Manmohan to let out a long sigh and say to the Dominos guy, “Just wait a minute, ill get everyone’s views on this”. He then proceeded to shout something that was absolutely inaudible.

Miffed: P.Chidambaram calls shotgun on the first five slices. Sadly, the order was never placed.

The noise and confusion did not subside even after 10 minutes, at which point Soniaji entered the room and shouted, “Shh, this is not the parliament, this is lunch. We need to get this wrapped up quickly so that we can continue our discussions”. She then paused, looked around and let out a smirk saying, “No pun intended”. This was followed by peals of forced laughter by the MPs, with one MP going to the extent of drinking a glass of hot coffee and forcing it out of his nose.

“Look, the ’30 minutes or free’ offer starts only from the time we take the complete order, not from the time you call”, said the pizza guy, who seemed to be losing his patience. “Why don’t you just call back when you decide”, he continued. But his words fell on deaf ears as the laughter continued in the background. The pizza guy, irritated by the waste of his time, hung up and got on with his work.

Also Miffed: "I think they were trying to score free pizzas. Not on my watch."

Later in the day, the Congress still had not decided on the Telangana issue. They, however, came out with a statement saying, “We have not gone forward with the issue. But we have not gone backwards either. We urge the public to be patient. This is a serious issue, it’s not as easy as ordering pizza.”

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Written by sirkapyaaz

December 24, 2009 at 6:04 AM

Posted in National, Politics

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