Sirka Pyaaz – The Galaxy's Leading Satire Tri-monthly

God Talks to Man On Acid Trip.

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Written by SD:

HYDERABAD, January 30, 2010:

A young man, Rajesh Nanem, 23, claimed that he had a revelation from God last night.

“I was at this rave when the incident happened.”, said Mr. Nanem, who consumed three Hoffman LSD Stamps in a span of 8 minutes.

“I was with my friends, and I may have been tripping balls, but I am certain that God talked to me. I was dancing when suddenly, the world around me lost shape and I went into a tizzy. I guess that was God’s way of calling me. I was not sure what was happening and suddenly, I hear this booming voice saying, ‘Rajesh, are you alright?’. God wanted to know if my life was in order. I was shocked. I mean, God talked to me, THE God. I replied saying that my life sucked. And God once again tells me ‘Get up! Wake up! Open your eyes!” but this time in a feminine voice. But that’s God for you. He is omnipotent, and can easily take a voice of a woman. God was asking me to wake up, stop living an artificial life and see the world through the eyes of the blessed.” said Mr. Nanem, who was now trying to come up with a name for his new religion.

“At this point, I found myself being lifted off the ground. My face and hair were moist. I was levitating into the clouds! I was in a state of total bliss, when God once again in his booming, manly voice said, ‘You need to get out of here. How about going to Paradise?’. God wanted me to leave this worldly existence and take up his work. And he promised to send me to the paradise called Heaven if I did. I was absolutely ecstatic” continued Rajesh, looking into the distance.

Place of Revelation: Rajesh Hopes for followers of his religion to make this his holy shrine

“I woke up this evening and wondered if it was all a dream. It could not be because my butt is sore from when I fell down last night. I better get to work now. I have a few kick-ass ideas for my religion” said Mr. Nanem before pushing us out of his room.

We contacted one of his friends who said, “Last night was bad. Rajesh was tripping like a madman. He actually grabbed two stamps from my pocket and popped them. He fell down a few minutes later and was completely knocked out. We had to carry him all the way to Paradise Restaurant to get some food into his system. We got him back home and tucked him in but not before he puked on my face and all over my steering wheel. Bad night.”

The Holy Stamp: Behold, he gave unto them the sacred Acid Stamp, and sayeth, "Thou shalt pop one every week"

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Written by sirkapyaaz

January 30, 2010 at 12:00 AM

Posted in Society/Life

Tagged with , , , , , , ,

One Response

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  1. OMG! I can’t believe how seriously hilarious this is. even more that you wrote it!!!

    dee

    February 7, 2010 at 10:19 AM


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