Sirka Pyaaz – The Galaxy's Leading Satire Tri-monthly

Nation Still Unable to Comprehend The Direct-Taxes Code

with one comment

February 10, 2010:

by SD:

The Langdons of the nation have yet to get beyond the Short Title of the new Direct Taxes Code that promised to be ‘a rollercoaster mystery, full of twists and turns’.

The book was released amidst much fanfare in July 2009, and was inspired by The Da Vinci Code and 300 bottles of whisky. In an official press release in July, the Finance Minister, Pranab Mukherjee claimed that “This is mystery-detective fiction at its best. I would like to congratulate our intoxicated draftsmen on writing something that I personally think is much more engrossing than Dan Brown’s Book. The Da Vinci Code was quite direct. But our draftsmen have strategically placed small clues in various parts of the book. Rest assured, readers would have a lot of fun trying to figure them out. We wanted the readers to think on their feet and just when they think they have something, Bam! we nullify a Supreme Court judgment with retrospective effect. Don’t let the small size of the book fool you. It offers the most number of twists and turns ever recorded. And the best part is that we don’t give away the ending in the book. The cipher to this Code lies deep within the intoxicated minds of our intoxicated draftsmen.”

In a press conference earlier today, Pranab Mukherjee said “The feedback we have received shows an overwhelmingly positive response. One reader wrote ‘What is wrong with you people? This book makes me feel like gouging my eyes out, smashing them to pulp with a hammer and feeding that to a cat.’ Look at that imagery. I can proudly say that this reader has become more creative after attempting to do a Langdon.”

We managed to speak with a Chartered Accountant who after spending 29 days on the second page of the book, had this to say: “This is nothing like the Da Vinci Code, it’s so confusing that I feel like everything I know is of no use. Take a look at this sentence. ‘Notwithstanding anything provided in this Act, and/or notwithstanding anything provided in any other Act in force for the time being except this one, not including anything contained in Chapter III, excluding clauses 12-32 of Section 17,  not including clause 14 in case of a Foreign Company not being a Domestic company or Rakhi Sawant, shall not exempt no income from house property that, other than by way of rent, accrues to the person, not including an HUF or an Association of Persons and if the assessee does not fail to not provide information to such authority as may be prescribed, not below an Assessing Officer or above, he may be liable to a fine of not less than or equal to Rs. 10,000 per week for each day or part of the day for which the offence does not abate.’ I don’t even know what that means. I like the confusion that arose from the old Income Tax Act. Now leave me alone, I want to dis-entangle my mind by playing a game of 3D sudoku with my eyes closed.”

As of press time, it was rumoured that the Russian Government was planning to use the basis for this code for top secret military communications.

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Written by sirkapyaaz

February 10, 2010 at 11:54 AM

One Response

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  1. Gud one man !!!

    Ravi

    February 10, 2010 at 2:03 PM


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